Business Development Is A Confidence Game
Many professionals assume they have a business development problem when they actually have a confidence problem. Learn why confidence is often the missing ingredient in winning more work.
Many lawyers assume they have a business development problem when what they have is a confidence problem.
Most law firms employ highly capable subject matter expert lawyers with deep expertise and insight, strong client outcomes and years of experience. Yet many still struggle with inconsistent pipelines, overreliance on referrals and rainmakers, fee pressure, and a lack of new matters.
Why is this?
In this BD Tips Wednesday post, I suggest it’s because business development is not a selling game — it’s a confidence game.
Capability Does Not Automatically Create Confidence
A common assumption in professional services is that expertise naturally leads to work. Tell me if this sounds familiar:
Do good work → clients recognise value → more work follows.
Sounds logical.
But markets are not logical and rarely reward the most technically capable adviser. Otherwise, everyone who went to Harvard would be a rainmaker (trust me, they’re not!).
What markets do reward are lawyers who are:
visible
easy to engage
responsive
commercially aware
confident communicating value
There is very little subject matter expertise in any of that.
But this creates a frustrating dynamic for many lawyers: ➡️ Strong technical practitioners assume business development happens organically, while commercially confident competitors (who are often not as technically strong) steadily strengthen relationships, are more responsive, ask better questions, stay visible, and steal all the thunder.
The Confidence Gap
Low confidence in business development rarely announces itself directly. Instead, it quietly shows up in behavours that many firm leaders overlook. It appears when lawyers:
hesitate to follow up after meetings
avoid asking for introductions or referrals
feel uncomfortable discussing fees
discount too quickly
avoid commercial conversations
assume good work alone will generate future matters
Confidence Is Built, Not Found
One of the biggest misconceptions about business development is the belief that confidence arrives first. It doesn’t.
Confidence is typically:
After the awkward networking event
After the follow-up call
After the uncomfortable pricing conversation
After asking for the meeting
After hearing “no” more times than you would like to and realising the world doesn’t end.
The lawyer who appears naturally good at business development is often the lawyer who has kept showing up enough to become part of the furniture.
Confidence is not a personality trait. It’s a skill. And like every skill, it improves through repetition and training.
Takeaway: Clients Buy Confidence
Clients are not simply buying your technical expertise; they’re buying the confidence you bring to the matter. Confidence that:
you understand their issue
you have solved similar problems before
you will guide them through uncertainty
you understand commercial realities
you will help them make good decisions
Technical ability matters, but confidence is where trust is created.
Need Help With Your Business Development?
Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.
But What If I Fail?
Fear of failure stops many professionals from taking action. Discover why momentum, experimentation and learning matter more than avoiding mistakes.
It’s a simple five-word question, yet a lot of my clients have confided in me recently: “But what if I fail?”.
My response?
Since going out on my own two and a half years ago; it’s a question I ask myself daily. Every time I submit a pitch or proposal to do some work. Every time someone asks me to reduce my price and I say “no”, possibly losing their work. Every time I go to an event and see no one I know in the room. Every time I see a competitor getting attention on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook or wherever else I might be a the time.
But here’s the thing. While the question might keep you up at night, it’s the wrong question to be focussed on.
Failure Isn’t the Real Risk, Inaction Is
Let’s face facts, when you run your own show and do serious business development you WILL fail from time-to-time. It’s a fact of life. However, failure (if that’s the word we are going to use) doesn’t come from a bad proposal - it comes from not having a plan | strategy, from not showing up often enough to be seen.
Too many professionals only do business development when the “perfect” opportunity comes along, or only reach out when they feel 100% certain the person is going to respond. That's because Type A's typically want to protect their reputation and themselves from the sting of rejection; but in doing so, they're only protecting their competitors' market share.
If you never risk a “no,” you never earn the chance for a “yes.”
The Hidden Cost of Playing Safe
For most professionals, hesitation and a reluctance to be seen “selling” has a compounding cost:
Missed momentum: Every unanswered email and phone call delays your pipeline of work.
Brand invisibility: If clients don’t see you regularly, they assume you’re too busy and won’t consider you for work.
Confidence erosion: Each decision not to act reinforces the story that “we’re not ready yet.”
Safety feels rational, but it’s silently expensive.
Reframing Failure as Feedback
Business development is an experiment, not a life-threatening medical exam. Every lost pitch teaches you how clients think. Every pricing conversation reveals where your perceived value sits. Every “no” moves you closer to understanding what earns a “yes.”
The firms that grow fastest aren’t those with perfect hit rates. They’re the ones who measure, learn, adjust and try again quickly.
A Simple Rule: Fail Small, Learn Fast, Win Big
You don’t need to gamble everything on one massive opportunity or a single flagship client. Instead, build a rhythm of small, controlled tasks:
Test your new pricing model on one client, not ten.
Submit one extra EOI each quarter.
Run one webinar to see who shows up.
Make one bolder ask in your next proposal.
Each micro-failure is tuition, not a tax.
The Real Fear Isn’t Failure, It’s Exposure
When professionals say “I’m afraid of failing,” what they usually mean is, “I’m afraid people will see me fail.”
But the irony is: no one is watching as closely as you think. Clients are busy. Your competitors are busy. And, the market has a very short memory.
What everyone does remember is consistency: the lawyer who keeps showing up, keeps improving and keeps asking for work is the lawyer who will win in the long run.
Takeaway
If you want to build a sustainable business development habit, reframe the question.
Don’t ask: “What if I fail?”
Ask: “What will I learn if I try?”
Because in business development: the opposite of failure isn’t success, it’s momentum.
Need Help With Your Business Development?
Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.
Commercial Imposter Syndrome - The Need To Understand Your Own Value
Many professionals understand their technical expertise but struggle to recognise their commercial value. Learn how understanding your worth can improve confidence, pricing and business development outcomes.
Value is in the eye of the beholder
They say the perceived value of something is subjective and varies from person to person. It is suggested this is why value-based pricing is so hard: trying to convince your client that the service they are getting from you is of great value.
But, what if I said one of the biggest challenges professionals face isn't convincing their client they're getting great value for service, but rather the need to convince themselves that they are providing great value?
It has been my experience that most partners, principals, directors etc suffer from what I call 'commercial imposter syndrome'. This is to say, they understand their professional value but have no idea of the commercial value they provide. That's not a problem, until you realise that these are the very same people who are setting the price of the service being offered.
So for this BD Tips Wednesday post, I thought I would do a post on '3 Tips to Understanding Your Own Value'.
3 Tips to Understanding Your Own Value
1. Take Stock of Your Skills and Achievements
Self-worth starts with self-awareness. Get a piece of paper and a pen and make a list of your key skills, experiences and achievements.
Be specific, don’t just write “good at problem-solving”; and note the measurable results you’ve delivered for your clients. This record not only reinforces your sense of value, but also gives you tangible examples to draw on when negotiating your fees.
2. Identify What Makes You Different
Understanding your value also means knowing what others in your industry are doing so you can determine how you are doing things better. Research your market; know your client expectations (tip, ask them!); and your competitors’ offerings.
Ask yourself: “What is it I do differently to the rest?”
Is it your speed?; Your depth of expertise?; Your ability to make complex things simple?
This will help you position yourself realistically, while avoiding the trap of undervaluing your services out of fear or guesswork.
Being clear on your differentiators also allows you to communicate them with confidence and justify your pricing decisions.
3. Get Comfortable Saying No
When you understand your value, you stop chasing every opportunity; especially those that don’t respect your worth.
Saying “no” to underpaid work or misaligned projects isn’t about arrogance, it’s about protecting your time, energy and reputation for the right opportunities.
Bonus tip: Seek Feedback
Ask trusted peers, clients or mentors for feedback on the value you provide. Often, others see strengths you’ve overlooked. The challenge? Believing them. Resist the urge to downplay compliments and/or ingore feedback about your weaknesses.
Final Thought
Understanding your value is an ongoing process, not a one-off exercise. The more you can define, articulate and stand by your worth, the more aligned opportunities you’ll attract and the less you’ll need to justify yourself to others.
In the end though, if you don’t understand your value you cannot expect your clients to.
Further Reading
Need Help With Your Business Development?
Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.