Business Development Is A Confidence Game
Many professionals assume they have a business development problem when they actually have a confidence problem. Learn why confidence is often the missing ingredient in winning more work.
Many lawyers assume they have a business development problem when what they have is a confidence problem.
Most law firms employ highly capable subject matter expert lawyers with deep expertise and insight, strong client outcomes and years of experience. Yet many still struggle with inconsistent pipelines, overreliance on referrals and rainmakers, fee pressure, and a lack of new matters.
Why is this?
In this BD Tips Wednesday post, I suggest it’s because business development is not a selling game — it’s a confidence game.
Capability Does Not Automatically Create Confidence
A common assumption in professional services is that expertise naturally leads to work. Tell me if this sounds familiar:
Do good work → clients recognise value → more work follows.
Sounds logical.
But markets are not logical and rarely reward the most technically capable adviser. Otherwise, everyone who went to Harvard would be a rainmaker (trust me, they’re not!).
What markets do reward are lawyers who are:
visible
easy to engage
responsive
commercially aware
confident communicating value
There is very little subject matter expertise in any of that.
But this creates a frustrating dynamic for many lawyers: ➡️ Strong technical practitioners assume business development happens organically, while commercially confident competitors (who are often not as technically strong) steadily strengthen relationships, are more responsive, ask better questions, stay visible, and steal all the thunder.
The Confidence Gap
Low confidence in business development rarely announces itself directly. Instead, it quietly shows up in behavours that many firm leaders overlook. It appears when lawyers:
hesitate to follow up after meetings
avoid asking for introductions or referrals
feel uncomfortable discussing fees
discount too quickly
avoid commercial conversations
assume good work alone will generate future matters
Confidence Is Built, Not Found
One of the biggest misconceptions about business development is the belief that confidence arrives first. It doesn’t.
Confidence is typically:
After the awkward networking event
After the follow-up call
After the uncomfortable pricing conversation
After asking for the meeting
After hearing “no” more times than you would like to and realising the world doesn’t end.
The lawyer who appears naturally good at business development is often the lawyer who has kept showing up enough to become part of the furniture.
Confidence is not a personality trait. It’s a skill. And like every skill, it improves through repetition and training.
Takeaway: Clients Buy Confidence
Clients are not simply buying your technical expertise; they’re buying the confidence you bring to the matter. Confidence that:
you understand their issue
you have solved similar problems before
you will guide them through uncertainty
you understand commercial realities
you will help them make good decisions
Technical ability matters, but confidence is where trust is created.
Need Help With Your Business Development?
Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.
But What If I Fail?
Fear of failure stops many professionals from taking action. Discover why momentum, experimentation and learning matter more than avoiding mistakes.
It’s a simple five-word question, yet a lot of my clients have confided in me recently: “But what if I fail?”.
My response?
Since going out on my own two and a half years ago; it’s a question I ask myself daily. Every time I submit a pitch or proposal to do some work. Every time someone asks me to reduce my price and I say “no”, possibly losing their work. Every time I go to an event and see no one I know in the room. Every time I see a competitor getting attention on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook or wherever else I might be a the time.
But here’s the thing. While the question might keep you up at night, it’s the wrong question to be focussed on.
Failure Isn’t the Real Risk, Inaction Is
Let’s face facts, when you run your own show and do serious business development you WILL fail from time-to-time. It’s a fact of life. However, failure (if that’s the word we are going to use) doesn’t come from a bad proposal - it comes from not having a plan | strategy, from not showing up often enough to be seen.
Too many professionals only do business development when the “perfect” opportunity comes along, or only reach out when they feel 100% certain the person is going to respond. That's because Type A's typically want to protect their reputation and themselves from the sting of rejection; but in doing so, they're only protecting their competitors' market share.
If you never risk a “no,” you never earn the chance for a “yes.”
The Hidden Cost of Playing Safe
For most professionals, hesitation and a reluctance to be seen “selling” has a compounding cost:
Missed momentum: Every unanswered email and phone call delays your pipeline of work.
Brand invisibility: If clients don’t see you regularly, they assume you’re too busy and won’t consider you for work.
Confidence erosion: Each decision not to act reinforces the story that “we’re not ready yet.”
Safety feels rational, but it’s silently expensive.
Reframing Failure as Feedback
Business development is an experiment, not a life-threatening medical exam. Every lost pitch teaches you how clients think. Every pricing conversation reveals where your perceived value sits. Every “no” moves you closer to understanding what earns a “yes.”
The firms that grow fastest aren’t those with perfect hit rates. They’re the ones who measure, learn, adjust and try again quickly.
A Simple Rule: Fail Small, Learn Fast, Win Big
You don’t need to gamble everything on one massive opportunity or a single flagship client. Instead, build a rhythm of small, controlled tasks:
Test your new pricing model on one client, not ten.
Submit one extra EOI each quarter.
Run one webinar to see who shows up.
Make one bolder ask in your next proposal.
Each micro-failure is tuition, not a tax.
The Real Fear Isn’t Failure, It’s Exposure
When professionals say “I’m afraid of failing,” what they usually mean is, “I’m afraid people will see me fail.”
But the irony is: no one is watching as closely as you think. Clients are busy. Your competitors are busy. And, the market has a very short memory.
What everyone does remember is consistency: the lawyer who keeps showing up, keeps improving and keeps asking for work is the lawyer who will win in the long run.
Takeaway
If you want to build a sustainable business development habit, reframe the question.
Don’t ask: “What if I fail?”
Ask: “What will I learn if I try?”
Because in business development: the opposite of failure isn’t success, it’s momentum.
Need Help With Your Business Development?
Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.
Like Baseball, Business Development is a Game of Failure — And That’s Why It Works!
Business development is not about winning every opportunity. Learn why resilience, persistence and learning from setbacks are essential to long-term success.
Unfortunately, lawyers are trained in the profession of law over the business of law. Trained to think in terms of precision, structure and predictability.
It’s no wonder then that many lawyers approach business development with hesitation; because, unlike legal work, and much like baseball: business development is messy, uncertain and full of failure.
Yet, it's the most essential skills for any lawyer looking to build a sustainable, growing practice.
So for this BD Tips Wednesday post I thought it would be fun to look at how lawyers can develop their business development skills just by watching a baseball game!
You’ll Hear “No” More Than “Yes”
Hard to hear fact, if you’re just starting out you'll hear "no" more than "yes". But this doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong - it means you’re in the game!
⚾ TIP: Just like in baseball, where hitting .300 makes you an all-star, successful BD often results in failed attempts more than they succeed.
It’s Not About Perfection—It’s About Progress
Business development rewards consistency, resilience and learning. Every rejection teaches you something:
Maybe your messaging missed the mark.
Maybe the timing was off.
Maybe the client wasn’t a fit.
The Bigger Picture
Like baseball, business development teaches us valuable lessons:
Rejection isn’t personal. It’s just part of the process.
Failure is data. Use it to refine your approach.
Patience compounds. Relationships and results both take time.
The only true failure is giving up.
The Mental Game
What separates successful business developers isn’t just charm or a killer network, it's mindset:
The ability to keep going after a dry spell.
The confidence to send another proposal after losing three.
The patience to play the long game, not just chase quick wins.
Play the Long Game
One of the hardest truths about business development is that it rarely delivers instant gratification. You may spend months | years building relationships that never convert into clients. That’s why consistency matters more than brilliance. You don’t need to have the perfect pitch every time. But you do need to show up again and again, staying top of mind through value-driven interactions.
Remember, each touchpoint is a step closer to trust > and trust is what ultimately leads to work.
Final Word
Don’t obsess over failure. Tweak, adjust and try again.
Because the next call, the next pitch, the next conversation could be the one that lands you that job!
Need Help With Your Business Development?
Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.