The “Give First” Rule Of Business Development

There’s a quiet truth about business development that many professionals struggle to accept:

Rainmakers, who consistently win work, often appear to chase work the least.

This is not because they are passive or indifferent to growth. Nor is it because they are somehow naturally gifted networkers. More often, they have learned a principle that quietly underpins strong professional relationships:

give value before you ask for value in return.

In this BD Tips Wednesday post, I look at why consistently investing in relationships – more often than not for nothing – is the business development tool you have.

Business Development Starts Earlier Than Most People Think

Most lawyers still think of business development as a sequence of activities tied to winning work: networking events, proposal meetings, lunches and pitches.

Yet most clients do not experience relationships this way. They rarely appoint advisers because of a single impressive meeting. They work with people they trust, remember and value. In short, people they like working with.

Most importantly though, clients choose advisers who have already demonstrated an understanding of their world.

Here’s the crux: trust isn’t something you buy over coffee. It often develops through smaller interactions over time. It may be a helpful article shared after hearing about an industry challenge. A quick phone call to help someone think through an issue. A useful introduction between two contacts who should know each other. Sometimes, it is simply remembering what matters to a client and checking in when something relevant arises.

These moments may seem small, but they compound. Over time, they shape perception and position someone as a trusted adviser rather than simply another service provider.

Giving First Does Not Mean Working for Free

At this point, you may ask:

Does “giving first” simply mean giving away expertise without being paid?

No, not at all.

The “Give First” rule is not about endless unpaid advice or blurring commercial boundaries. It is about creating value without attaching an immediate expectation of return. There is an important distinction between providing value, and giving away your services indefinitely.

Often, value comes in forms that cost little but matter greatly to clients. It may be sharing insight into a market trend, asking thoughtful questions that help clarify a problem, introducing someone to a useful connection or pointing a client in the right direction before an issue escalates.

In many cases, the most valuable thing a lawyer can provide is perspective.

Clients remember the people who helped them make sense of a problem; particularly before it became urgent.

Why the “Give First” Rule Works

Professional services businesses ultimately operate on trust. Clients are rarely buying time alone; they are buying judgement, confidence and reduced risk.

Before engaging a lawyer, most clients ask themselves a simple question:

Do I trust this person to help me solve an important problem?

Giving first helps answer that question long before a formal proposal is ever requested.

First, it makes you memorable. Many professionals disappear between matters, only resurfacing when they need work or have something to sell. By contrast, those who remain visible through relevant and useful interactions stay front of mind.

Second, it demonstrates capability before the pitch. Every helpful conversation, thoughtful observation or useful introduction becomes subtle proof of how you think and how you show up for clients.

Finally, generosity tends to create momentum in relationships. This is not about manipulation or keeping score. It is human nature. People naturally remember those who have been helpful, and when an opportunity arises, whether a referral, a panel appointment or a strategic matter, trusted relationships often come to mind first.

Three Practical Ways to Apply It

The good news is that adopting a “Give First” mindset does not require a complete overhaul of your business development approach.

Start by becoming more intentional about relevance. Instead of generic check-ins, send clients or referrers something genuinely useful: an article, market insight or observation tied to an issue they are likely facing.

Second, make introductions generously. Lawyers who consistently connect people build strong reputations as trusted relationship-builders, often without realising the long-term value this creates.

Finally, ask better questions. Rather than opening with “How’s business?”, ask what challenges clients expect in the next 12 months or what is becoming harder for their team. Better questions lead to better conversations, and better conversations create stronger relationships.

Takeaway: Stop Chasing. Start Helping.

Rainmakers who build strong books of business are rarely the most aggressive marketers. More often, they are the people who consistently show up, stay curious and make themselves useful long before an opportunity emerges.

The “Give First” rule is not about generosity for its own sake. It is about recognising that trust compounds over time. When an important problem eventually lands on a client’s desk, they rarely start searching from scratch.

Instead, they call the person who has already been helpful.

Need Help With Your Business Development?

Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.

The Problem Isn’t The Ask. It's The Way You Ask

Most professionals treat referrals like a transaction:

“Hey, do you know anyone who needs this?”

And that is where it falls flat.

Referrals don’t happen at the end of a job, they happen at the peak of value. Right after:

• You’ve solved a problem

• Delivered a great outcome

• Made the client’s life easier

That’s when your client is already thinking: “That was great.” You’re not interrupting. You’re simply continuing the conversation.

That’s why, for this BD Tips Wednesday post, I’m taking a look at ‘How to Ask for Referrals Without Sounding Awkward’.

Shift From “Can You Refer Me?” to “Who Else Is Dealing With This?”

The best referral conversations don’t feel like requests, they feel like insight. Instead of asking for people, ask about problems:

• “Who else in your network is dealing with this right now?”

• “Are you seeing this come up in other teams or organisations?”

• “Is this something your peers are talking about as well?”

This does two things:

1. It keeps the focus on the client’s world (not your pipeline), and

2. It makes the referral feel like a natural extension of the work you’ve just done.

Make It Easy To Say Yes

Awkwardness often comes from vagueness. If your client has to think too hard, they won’t act. Give them something specific:

• “We’ve been helping a few clients with X, happy to have a quick chat with anyone else facing the same issue.”

• “If someone comes to mind, feel free to connect us - no pressure at all.”

Low friction. No pressure. Clear context.

Use The “Permission-Based” Close

This is where most people get stuck, they either push too hard or don’t ask at all. Instead try:

“Would you be comfortable introducing me if someone comes to mind?”

It works because:

• It respects the relationship

• It gives them control

• It removes the pressure of an immediate answer

You’re not asking them to do something now. You’re opening the door for them to help when it feels right.

The Real Lever: Consistency, Not Courage

Most professionals wait for the “perfect moment.” Rainmakers build it into their process: every matter; every project; every positive outcome.

Because referrals aren’t a one-off tactic, they’re a system.

Takeaway

Try this in your next client conversation:

“We’ve been seeing this come up a lot lately are others in your network dealing with something similar?”

Then stop talking. Let them think. Let them connect the dots.

Because that’s where the best referrals come from.

Need Help With Your Business Development?

Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.

The Most Underused Business Development Tactic: Walk and Talk Meetings

For professional services firms, most business development related conversations happen in predictable settings: boardrooms, cafés or over video calls. They’re typically structured, often rushed, and framed by time constraints that subtly shape how people interact.‍ ‍

But some of the most effective business development conversations don’t happen sitting down at all. They happen when you are out walking.

The “walk and talk” meeting is one of the most underused tools in professional services. It strips away formality, changes the dynamic of the conversation and, done well, can lead to more open, honest and commercially meaningful discussions.

So for this BD Tips Wednesday post I take a look at creating the right conditions for better conversations – when you walk and talk.

Why Walking Changes the Conversation

There is something fundamentally different about walking side-by-side compared to sitting across a table. In a traditional sit-down meeting, the structure is clear:

• There is an agenda.

• There is a start and end.

• There is often an implicit expectation to “get through” topics.

This type of structure can be useful, and it certainly has its place in your business development arsenal; but it can also limit the quality of the interaction and conversations your having with clients and referrers.

When you walk with a client, referrer or prospect, the dynamic shifts. The conversation becomes less transactional and more natural. Without the pressure of eye contact across a table, people tend to speak more freely. There is less interruption, fewer formal pauses and more space for ideas to develop.

In business development, this matters.

Because the goal of business development is not just to exchange information, it’s to truly understand what is really going on behind the surface of a client’s needs. It’s about gaining the trust of the other person in the conversation. And there really is no more natural way of doing that than going for a walk with them!

Better Conversations Lead to Better Work

Most professionals assume that business development success comes from better proposals, sharper pricing or stronger credentials. The reality is those things matter far less than the quality of the conversations that happen before any proposal is written.

Walk and talk meetings create the right conditions for:

• Clients to share concerns they may not raise in formal settings.

• Early identification of risks, frustrations, or internal pressures.

• More candid discussion about budgets, expectations and constraints.

• A clearer understanding of what “success” actually looks like for the client.

• A more informal environment to talk through career moves or advancements.

These are the insights that help you win work.

By the time a formal request or proposal stage is reached, the firms that have had these deeper conversations are already ahead. They are not guessing what the client wants, they already know.

Removing the “Meeting Fatigue” Barrier

There is another, more practical reason why walk and talk meetings work. People are tired of meetings.

Calendars are full, attention is fragmented and another “catch-up” often feels like an obligation rather than an opportunity.

But suggesting a walk reframes the interaction. It feels:

• Less like a meeting

• More like a break in the day

• Easier to say “yes” to

For time-poor clients, that small shift can be the difference between a delayed conversation and one that happens this week. And in business development, timing really matters.

When to Use Walk and Talk Business Development Meetings

Not every conversation should happen on the move. But there are specific situations where walk and talk meetings are particularly effective. They work well when:

• You are building or strengthening a relationship (not pitching)

• The conversation is exploratory rather than transactional

• You want to understand broader business challenges, not just a single matter

• The client is someone you already have a level of rapport with

They are less effective when:

• You need to review detailed documents

• Multiple stakeholders are involved

• The discussion is highly technical or requires visual material

• The client prefers formal settings

Like any business development tool, it is about choosing the right approach for the objective.

How to Structure It (Without Over-Structuring It)

The mistake many professionals make is trying to turn a walk into a “mobile boardroom.” That defeats the purpose.

Instead, think of it as a lightly guided conversation. Have a direction, not an agenda. A simple structure might be:

• Start with something broad: “What’s been taking up most of your time lately?”

• Let the conversation flow naturally

• Ask follow-up questions that explore impact, not just facts

• Only introduce your perspective where it adds value

The goal is not to “cover topics.” The goal is to uncover insight.

A Different Kind of Visibility

One of the recurring challenges in professional services is what might be called the visibility gap: capable firms lose work not because they lack expertise, but because clients don’t clearly see their value early enough.‍ ‍

Walk and talk meetings are a practical way to close that gap. They create space for:‍ ‍

• Demonstrating how you think, not just what you do

• Positioning yourself as someone who understands the client’s broader context

• Building familiarity and trust outside of formal deliverables

This is the kind of visibility that matters.

Not visibility through marketing activity, but visibility through meaningful interaction.

Takeaway

‍Most lawyers and law firms are not short of business development things to do. They attend events, send updates and prepare proposals.

What they often lack are the kinds of conversations that actually shape client decisions.

Walk and talk meetings are a small shift, but one that can materially change the quality of those conversations.

Next time you are scheduling a catch-up with a client, consider a different approach. Don’t default to a meeting room. Suggest going for a walk.

Because sometimes, the most valuable business development conversations happen when you stop sitting across the table and start walking alongside your client.

Need Help With Your Business Development?

Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.

Shared Experiences Build Stronger Client Relationships

Ask a law firm partner what business development they did last month, and a top answer will be “having coffee | lunch with a client”. While there is certainly a place for the strategic coffee and lunch meeting, more often than not they go nowhere.

So, in a market where it’s ever more difficult to stand-out from the competition, what can you be doing to be memorable?

As it would happen, that is the topic for this BD Tips Wednesday post: creating shared experiences with clients.

Why Experiences Matter More Than Meetings

Business development is wholly about building trust with your customer. And trust is almost never built through formal presentations across a boardroom table. As one of my clients said to me in the days when I used to pretend to be a lawyer: “trust is built in the trenches” - it's built through shared moments.

When clients and lawyers participate in small close-knit activities together, the dynamic changes. Hierarchies flatten. Conversations become more authentic. People reveal more about themselves and what's important to them.

This is where real relationships and trust begin.

Some Examples of Shared Experiences

• Pizza-Making Classes: Pizza-making is inherently collaborative. It involves creativity, teamwork, and shared outcomes. There is something powerful about creating something together from scratch. It naturally encourages conversation, humour and interaction. Unlike formal meetings, participants are relaxed. Barriers drop quickly. These environments often lead to the kinds of conversations where clients reveal real business challenges, future plans and concerns: all valuable insights that rarely emerge in structured settings.

• Escape Rooms: Escape rooms are very effective for building trust with clients as they simulate problem-solving under pressure. Clients get to see first-hand how you deal with pressure as participants must communicate clearly, think strategically and collaborate efficiently.

• Rock Climbing: Rock climbing introduces an element of trust that few other activities can provide. Climbers literally rely on others for safety and support. This creates immediate and meaningful trust connections.

Whichever you chose, clients often remember these experiences vividly and associate positive emotions with the experience.

Why These Activities Are Powerful Relationship Builders

The delivery of professional services is often intangible. Clients cannot easily evaluate quality until after the work is delivered.

Shared activities allow clients to observe how you work and your thought process up close. They get to see:

• How you and your team communicate

• How your team supports each other

• How your team handles challenges

This builds confidence in you and your team – and confidence is the pathway to trust.

Takeaway: Memorable Firms Win More Work

When technical capability is similar, clients often choose service providers they like working with and trust.

But at the end of the day, whether good or bad, memorable firms stay top-of-mind. Again, shared experiences – good or bad - create stories; and stories create recall.

So ask yourself: Do you want to be the firm that stays top of mind because

1. “that’s the firm that helped us escape the escape room”; or

2. “that’s the firm that sent us a 30-page generic capability statement.”

Need Help With Your Business Development?

Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.

Why Business Development Lunches Don't Work!

Right, I'm going to say from the start that I'm a fan of the business development lunch. But, like all of your business development efforts, there is a time and place. And sometimes, in fact many times, the business development objective you are trying to achieve could be better achieved in another way.

So, for this BD Tips Wednesday post, I thought I would run through a couple of reasons why those long business development lunches you are having to celebrate the end of the financial year may not be getting you the results you were hoping for!

The Problem with the Traditional BD Lunch

You lock in a date—often weeks in advance—to meet a client or a referrer at the hottest new joint in town.

You arrive on time and spend a few minutes catching up over small talk.

Then you awkwardly ask: “So… how’s work?”

You small talk over the remainder of the meal .

You part ways, promising to "keep in touch".

Sound familiar at all?

That's right: No clear agenda ➡️ No clear takeaways ➡️ No next step action items ➡️ No value exchanged = Total waste of time

Just two busy people having a spot of lunch together.

This is NOT a Business Development Lunch because...

It lacked focus and intentionality

The biggest issue I have with BD lunches is that they are very rarely focused. In most cases, there’s no agenda 🗒️. And without direction, the conversation can feel like meandering small talk that achieves little more than keeping your name on someone’s radar. Not saying there is anything wrong with keeping your name on someone's radar, but there are better ways to do it than spending 90 minutes buying them an expensive lunch!

It feels fake

More often than not, a conjured-up lunch occasion becomes a performance: both parties are “on,” carefully managing how they present themselves, rather than honestly discussing problems, needs or opportunities.

3 Better Ways of Doing Business Development

1. Collaborative Working Sessions

One of the best ways to build rapport is not by eating together, but by thinking together.

Invite a client, prospective client, or referrer to a co-creation session—a whiteboard workshop, a problem-solving meeting, or a strategy discussion.

Instead of asking them to take time out of their day for a generic lunch, offer to sit with them and help unpack an issue they’re facing.

You:

• Build trust through shared problem-solving

• Demonstrate your capabilities in real time

• Create a reason for ongoing interaction

2. Short, Purposeful Coffee Catch-Ups

If you still value face-to-face interaction (and I do), opt for shorter, sharper meetings with a clear purpose.

A coffee meeting with a defined topic or objective can be far more productive than a lunch.

It’s also easier for clients and contacts to accept the invitation when you frame it as a brief and focused catch-up, rather than a drawn-out commitment.

The key here is to:

• State your intent clearly (“I’d love to get your thoughts on X” or “I want to share a quick update about Y”)

• Keep it tight (30–40 minutes max)

• Follow up promptly with value (a relevant article, a summary of next steps, or a useful introduction)

3. Deliver Value Before You Ask for Time

Perhaps the most powerful way to build trust is by delivering value without being asked.

Before booking a lunch or coffee, ask yourself: Have I given them something useful? 🤔

This could be:

• A tailored insight or trend that impacts their industry

• A short note with an idea related to a problem they’ve raised

• A thoughtful comment on a piece of work they’ve published

• A proactive suggestion on how you might collaborate

When you show up with something meaningful, you flip the dynamic. You’re not asking for their time—you’re earning it 💼✨.

And then when you do eventually meet, there’s already a foundation of value to build on.

Rethinking What Business Development Should Look Like

We’re a long way past the era where BD meant steak lunches, golf games, and three-hour meetings. Today’s clients are savvy. They want trusted advisors who understand their world and help them make progress.

Business development in modern professional services needs to be:

• Client-centric: Focused on solving their problems, not selling your services

• Efficient: Respecting everyone’s time and attention

• Authentic: Based on genuine curiosity, not rehearsed rapport-building

• Value-led: Every interaction should leave the other person better off

That means we must shift away from rituals and habits that no longer serve us; toward interactions that are truly meaningful.

Need Help With Your Business Development?

Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.

Add the personal touch to your business development with a handwritten Christmas card

There are few more personal ways to thank a person for the support they have shown you and your business over the past 12 month than to send them a handwritten Christmas card.

Unlike e-cards, which to be honest I have never been a massive fan of (but can see both the financial and ecological savings if you are sending several hundred/thousand), a handwritten note in a Christmas card adds that personal touch to the message that, to me, enhances the gratitude being shown.

Some tips

If you're going to send a handwritten note in a Christmas card to a key contact or referrer this year, make sure to:

1. Provide context: to why the card is being sent. For example: "it been a pleasure working with you over the past 12 months and we look forward to supporting you in the future".

2. Personalise it: include a private note about something that happened this year.

3. Keep it professional: remember, it’s a Christmas card to a client/referrer, so be personal but keep it professional - no saucy joke cards you can find in some stores please!

4. Keep it brief: again, it's professional, so keep it brief. The recipient of the card doesn't have a lot of time to read this card and probably has a few more cards than just yours to read, so make sure to keep this to a couple of well-thought-out sentences at most.

The simple, relatively inexpensive, gesture of sending a handwritten Christmas card can leave a lasting impression on your client. It could well be the small differentiator that you are looking for to stand your business out from its competitors!

Need Help With Your Business Development?

Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.

Why Having A Watercooler In Your Office Is Critical For Business Development

You'd be amazed at the amount of work I have won for my partners just standing next to the watercooler chewing the fat!

To many it seems like a waste of time, so for this BD Tips Wednesday I thought I'd outline '5 Reasons You Need To Have A Watercooler In Your Office'.

1. The Icebreaker

The biggest benefit of small talk is that it serves as a buffer, an icebreaker.

Small talking around a watercooler allows you the double-whammy of not only being able to chat freely, but do so knowing that you're very unlikely to be judged for the whacky business development ideas you throw out there!

QED: the watercooler is a great place to road test some of your more bizarre business development ideas!

2. The Power of Small Talk

Everyone loves to chat - it's human nature (trust me, I know - and anyone who knows me well will gladly verify)!

But, small talk is a lot more than just causal chat. It can be the start of a meaningful relationships. It's also the start of great insights. Because chit-chat/gossip helps break down barriers - you become human to others and that makes people more comfortable talking to you - which in turn makes them more comfortable doing business with you!

3. Common Ground

Ever wondered where you're going to turn to next, only to have a chat with some of your colleagues at the watercooler and come away inspired?

Yep, common ground. Common interests. Common desires. Really, really important in the early phases of a business development pursuit.

4. Network

Central to the success of your business development initiatives is the ability to start, develop and grow a network. This network of shared interests starts by developing relationships with people - and a good place to start that is at the watercooler!

5(a). The Trusted Advisor

Every watercooler has a trusted advisor - the person we all wait to go and speak to.

The font of all knowledge is found at the watercooler.

Become that font of all [BD] knowledge!

5(b). Small business enterprises

For the SME firms out there - the watercooler is a coffee shop. It's a chamber of commerce. It's a gathering point.

Because small talk acts as a bridge between formal business objectives and an individual's need to build trust!

Need Help With Your Business Development?

Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.