Why Business Development Lunches Don't Work!
Right, I'm going to say from the start that I'm a fan of the business development lunch. But, like all of your business development efforts, there is a time and place. And sometimes, in fact many times, the business development objective you are trying to achieve could be better achieved in another way.
So, for this BD Tips Wednesday post, I thought I would run through a couple of reasons why those long business development lunches you are having to celebrate the end of the financial year may not be getting you the results you were hoping for!
The Problem with the Traditional BD Lunch
You lock in a date—often weeks in advance—to meet a client or a referrer at the hottest new joint in town.
You arrive on time and spend a few minutes catching up over small talk.
Then you awkwardly ask: “So… how’s work?”
You small talk over the remainder of the meal .
You part ways, promising to "keep in touch".
Sound familiar at all?
That's right: No clear agenda ➡️ No clear takeaways ➡️ No next step action items ➡️ No value exchanged = Total waste of time
Just two busy people having a spot of lunch together.
This is NOT a Business Development Lunch because...
It lacked focus and intentionality
The biggest issue I have with BD lunches is that they are very rarely focused. In most cases, there’s no agenda 🗒️. And without direction, the conversation can feel like meandering small talk that achieves little more than keeping your name on someone’s radar. Not saying there is anything wrong with keeping your name on someone's radar, but there are better ways to do it than spending 90 minutes buying them an expensive lunch!
It feels fake
More often than not, a conjured-up lunch occasion becomes a performance: both parties are “on,” carefully managing how they present themselves, rather than honestly discussing problems, needs or opportunities.
3 Better Ways of Doing Business Development
1. Collaborative Working Sessions
One of the best ways to build rapport is not by eating together, but by thinking together.
Invite a client, prospective client, or referrer to a co-creation session—a whiteboard workshop, a problem-solving meeting, or a strategy discussion.
Instead of asking them to take time out of their day for a generic lunch, offer to sit with them and help unpack an issue they’re facing.
You:
Build trust through shared problem-solving
Demonstrate your capabilities in real time
Create a reason for ongoing interaction
2. Short, Purposeful Coffee Catch-Ups
If you still value face-to-face interaction (and I do), opt for shorter, sharper meetings with a clear purpose.
A coffee meeting with a defined topic or objective can be far more productive than a lunch.
It’s also easier for clients and contacts to accept the invitation when you frame it as a brief and focused catch-up, rather than a drawn-out commitment.
The key here is to:
State your intent clearly (“I’d love to get your thoughts on X” or “I want to share a quick update about Y”)
Keep it tight (30–40 minutes max)
Follow up promptly with value (a relevant article, a summary of next steps, or a useful introduction)
3. Deliver Value Before You Ask for Time
Perhaps the most powerful way to build trust is by delivering value without being asked.
Before booking a lunch or coffee, ask yourself: Have I given them something useful? 🤔
This could be:
A tailored insight or trend that impacts their industry
A short note with an idea related to a problem they’ve raised
A thoughtful comment on a piece of work they’ve published
A proactive suggestion on how you might collaborate
When you show up with something meaningful, you flip the dynamic. You’re not asking for their time—you’re earning it 💼✨.
And then when you do eventually meet, there’s already a foundation of value to build on.
Rethinking What Business Development Should Look Like
We’re a long way past the era where BD meant steak lunches, golf games, and three-hour meetings. Today’s clients are savvy. They want trusted advisors who understand their world and help them make progress.
Business development in modern professional services needs to be:
Client-centric: Focused on solving their problems, not selling your services
Efficient: Respecting everyone’s time and attention
Authentic: Based on genuine curiosity, not rehearsed rapport-building
Value-led: Every interaction should leave the other person better off
That means we must shift away from rituals and habits that no longer serve us; toward interactions that are truly meaningful.
Need Help With Your Business Development?
Get in touch if you want to talk about any of this. We also offer a very affordable BD Audit and Training package.
